“So many dreams and memories… that is what this Gold Star means to me… I am never alone when I come here… I touch my fingers to your name and pray to God our lives could be the same and I leave tears and flowers on a stone.”

In April of 2014 I had the privilege to work with an amazing organization, Operation Song – their mission is to empower veterans and active duty military to tell their stories through the process of songwriting in creative and therapeutic settings.

I went into the setting thinking, “I will tell my story, cry a little and that will be the end of it. I will be tough and strong like I always am.” Little did I know when Laurel Taylor and Don Goodman walked into the room that it would change my heart and I would be forever grateful that God put these two amazing and talented people in my life.

We sat in a small room: Don, Laurel, a guitar and me. Don looked at me and said, “You really don’t have to go to deep into everything if you don’t want to.” I sat quiet for a minute, looked up and said, “No, I have to do this… I want people to know just how much it hurt and that no matter where I am in life or where I end up, you can never give up on faith.”

I began telling my and Joshua’s love story, how it was when we first met in Vegas… going through the deployment, the doorbell ringing and then of course how my life changed forever at 26 years old when I thought I had my whole future planned. I didn’t want to just write about the same things that we see on movies: the big monumental moments of the doorbell ringing, being handed the flag and of course the 21 Gun Salute. I wanted to talk about what a lot of people don’t talk about, the after effects of what happens when you have been through the funeral, the memorials and the guests stop coming. The moment when all you have left are your memories, a stone and your faith.

There are moments in your life that can never be explained and will be forever etched into your heart… I am so blessed and honored to have had an opportunity to share moments and memories that I can never get back. I can feel the emotions and see the images as Laurel strums the cords.

May 2015 I had the honor to go onto 95.3 CatCountry in Chattanooga, TN and talk about my song along with what happened to Joshua in Afghanistan… I have attached the video of my interview… check it out and let me know your thoughts.

There is more to come with this song, but I wanted to start at the beginning of where it began and just hope and pray that as it grows into something beautiful it helps Gold Star Family members never give up hope, know that it is going to hurt and you will feel like every single breath of you is being ripped out… but, when you look down and see your Gold Star you will see and feel nothing but honor, love and sacrifice and most importantly you’re never alone. You have a whole Gold Star community surrounding you and an amazing Guardian Angel watching right over your shoulder.

Until then, go & carpe the hell out of diem you beautiful souls.

xo,
B