A Widow’s Cry & Promise

This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be
You were supposed to come back to me.
We were going to build a life
Hand in hand, side by side, husband & wife.
Every beat of my heart was a silent prayer
In hopes to keep you safe & far from danger.

Miles of land and sea between you & me
I counted the days until your arms were around me.
For once in my life I dared to dream
I planned a future of a home and kids for you & me.
I planned for vacations & fights
And sweet, sweet make ups at night.

Holidays, routines & growing old with one another
Then in a moment – everything changed without a stutter.
No matter how tight I held on
I couldn’t accept the truth, you were truly gone.
Soldiers at dawn, words that can’t be true
How can my heart go on beating when I don’t have you?
This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be
You were supposed to come back to me.
You were supposed to hold me tight
Wrapped in your arms, lost in your scent and touch every night.
You were supposed to come home and ease my heart
Take away those fears and lonely nights while we were apart.

They sent your body home with an escort & a flag.

They might call it your “remains” and such
But remains of you, is me & not your touch.
I have learned I am stronger than I ever knew
As I face day after day not having you.
This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be
You were supposed to come back to me.

Now I pick up the broken pieces of me & my life
Never forgetting that I am your loving wife.
I struggle each day to get out bed
Moments of despair and confusion in my chest & head.

When desperation kicks in and the darkness falls
I think of the courage, sacrifice and honor you laid own for us all.
Baby, someday we will be together again as husband & wife
And I’ll hope to have made you proud that I lived my life.

It’s what pulls me together, knowing I will see you at the gates of heaven.

When it’s my time to go
I will be in the arms of my hero.
I will dance in  your arms with the stars at our feet
My  heart will never skip another beat.
You will know that day we became man & wife and our life was ready to start
Our souls became one  –  not “until death do us part.”
But, forever & Always.

– To my dearest Joshua, I try so hard everyday to live life the way I promised I would if anything ever happened… but, it’s not always easy. I hope I am making you proud and I hope you are prepared for the 1,000 plus some that I have in store for you when we meet again. My heart, my hero, my forever love. – Your loving wife, B

** I hope you all enjoyed**
A Widow & Her Shoes

Compliments to Lori Rimmer