Cowgirl Grit

“In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scare heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.”
~ In Flanders Fields
By Lt. Col. John McCrae
May 3, 1915 ~

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I have written about so many things: love, loss, second chances and so much more, but there is one thing that I want to take the time to write about, the one thing that has more meaning to me than my own beating heart … the Gold Star.

I won’t lie, before I met Joshua and was introduced to the military life I had no idea what a blue star, gold star or what a survivor was… hell, I was still trying to figure out how to answer the question, “what MOS is your husband?” So, I really can’t blame the general public for looking at me so odd when I say, “I am a Gold Star Spouse” or having to have the awkward conversation when some one looks at my pin and says, “I love that pin, where can I get one?”

It amazes me how you go from not knowing the meaning of one thing, to that one thing having all the meaning in the world. There is a sense of pride and honor that goes with wearing that pin on a lapel or scarf. I notice myself standing a little straighter, feeling a little stronger – almost like an invisible shield – I can conquer anything while wearing the symbol of the ultimate sacrifice that my husband made – the highest honor I can wear to represent my soldier.

For those of you who are new to understanding the star flags (if you see them on a car or hanging on a door) and the two lapel pins that you may see someone wearing, here is a little information:

The Service Flags:

The flags were first used in World War I and were standardized by the end of World War II. However, they were not popular during the Vietnam War, but have come back into use with the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars on Terrorism.

Blue Star Service Flag:	The Service Flag is an official banner authorized by the Department of Defense for the display of families who have members serving in the Armed Forces during any period of war or hostilities the United States may be engaged in for the duration of such hostilities.The Service flag, also called the Blue Star Flag, was designed and patented by WWI Army Captain Robert L. Queisser of the 5th Ohio Infantry who had two sons serving on the front line.
Gold Star Service Flag	The Blue Star Flag led to the tradition to cover the blue star with a gold star on the service flag to indicate that the service member has died or been killed. The color of the stars is also symbolic in that the blue star represents hope and pride and the gold star represents to the cause of liberty and freedom.
The Silver Service Flag	The Silver Star Service Flag and Banner are symbols to remind Americans of the sacrifice made for them by so may. The Silver Star Service Banner is reserved for those who have been wounded, contracted a serious illness or injury in a war zone. It may be flown during war or peace time.

How to Display the Service Flag

The Service Flag is an indoor flag and should be flown facing out from the front window of the home or organization.

If the U.S. flag is also displayed with the Service Flag, the U.S. flag should be of equal or greater proportions and should take the place of honor above the Service Flag.

If a gold star is added to the Service Flag, it should take the position of honor and be placed over the blue star that is positioned closest to the staff.

The gold star should be smaller than the blue star to create a blue border surrounding the gold star.

The Lapel Pins

The Gold Star:

The Gold Star Lapel Pin was designed and created in 1947 for family members of those who died in combat. It is a gold star on a field of purple surrounded by laurel leaves. Gold Star Lapel Pin are awarded to surviving family members of service who have been killed in the specific conflicts listed in the “Information” section on the back of DD Form 3. The award authority is retroactive to World War I, and includes most subsequent conflicts. If your loved one was killed during the time period of one of these conflicts, but not in the official area of the conflict you would receive the Next of Kin Deceased Personnel Lapel Button.

The Next of Kin (NOK):

The Next of Kin Deceased Personnel Lapel Button was approved in 1973 for the primary next of kin of armed services members who lose their lives while serving on active duty or while assigned in an Army Reserve or Army National Guard unit in a drill status. It is a gold star on a gold background surrounded by four oak sprigs. The pin is authorized for issue retroactive to March 29, 1973. If you are a relative listed above and your loved one died while on active duty, but under circumstances that do not qualify you for the Gold Star Lapel Pin, you are entitled to the Next of Kin Deceased Personnel Lapel Button. The next of kin may request issue of the button by writing to the NPRC, 1 Archives Drive, St. Louis, MO 63138. Furnish the name, grade, SSN, and date of death of the deceased soldier. The names and relationships of the next of kin must also be provided.

As you can see, these Flags and pins hold significant meaning to the military families, those serving and to those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice. Just keep in mind when you address someone wearing one of these lapel pins – we as a surviving community make no distinctions among us; each of our loved ones took the oath of enlistment and served honorably until death.

There is an unspoken bond among survivors – it does not matter if they are widow, parent or child. We just understand the unspoken sacrifice our beloved family member made.

I hope after reading this you remember what the star means and when you see that person wearing their lapel pin proudly or their Banner on their car … thank them, for they sacrificed so much for your freedom.

Thank you for taking the time to read about something that has so much meaning to me, words do not describe the honor that I feel when I wear my pin. Please share and educate your community, sadly there are more survivors than we would like to have… The Gold Star holds the highest honor in all households that have to cover the blue star to honor their fallen hero.

God Bless,
B