“Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” – Dr. Seuss
I have spoken of many people that have supported me, picked me up and got me through my darkest moments after I lost Joshua. I have given thanks to family, friends, Army family and lots of Gold Star families for being my constant and my rock through everything. But, there is one family, one brotherhood that I haven’t given credit.
The Sigma Phi Epsilon Fraternity (SigEp).
The SigEp brothers were there from the moment I arrived in Tennessee to now. After Judy and I returned from Dover to receive Joshua’s body on American soil… I flew to Tennessee to prepare for the funeral of my beloved husband. There were brothers there to share the hilarious stories of Joshua “Twitch,” there were brothers at the funeral, there were brothers to do the rose ceremony at the gravesite for the final goodbye. There were brothers on bikes in the Patriot Guard to represent Joshua in the highest. There have been brothers that have been through every moment of sadness and happiness with me.
There are brothers who reach out on occasion to catch up with me, there are several babies named after Joshua and his memory has been forever honored with the Brothers. No matter what, I have always felt a part of the fraternity. All the brothers have been amazing, however, there are two brothers want to tell you about:
Dennis. Who accepted my new family as his and sends Christmas gifts to my two step-children (Jamie & Titus), Lane, Matthew and me. I cry ugly tears every year and probably should make a bigger deal out of it than I have (I am so sorry). This year has been the hardest with Matthew gone and having Lane all to myself (with the exception of family help).
Dennis, you have no idea how you have healed my heart over the last couple of years. I will forever be thankful for your friendship, brotherhood and love for Joshua. Thank you for never giving up on me and just loving me and my family. I love you.
Renato. Who is a retired Marine that coordinated the SigEps to do the rose ceremony at the funeral, along with the patriot guard and who goes to remember each fallen brother. Who took me under his wing and told me that we would get through this at the funeral.
Renato, your love for your country, the fallen and most of all the brotherhood leaves me speechless. Thank you for being an angel on this earth and showing people that there are good people in this world still.
I can’t imagine how hard it is for some brothers to have seen Joshua after we got married, to his death and then to me moving forward with my life. I know I haven’t been there every step of his SigEp life, but you all will forever be a part of my life, whether you know it or not. Joshua bled red and purple and talked about each of you constantly. I heard so many stories and on occasion I think of the stories he told me and I can hear his laugh… the laugh that could be heard around the world.
I want to personally thank each of you for accepting me, loving my family, loving Judy and never forgetting Joshua. The bond you all share is incredible and so very special. Joshua is beyond proud of you all and is smiling huge from the heaven above.
Just so you all know… Joshua hooked me when he told me how he got the name “twitch,” I will forever remember that conversation, laugh and how my life changed at that moment. The brotherhood helps develop already amazing men, keep doing incredible things.
“Let us drink to the purple and red.”
The SigEp brothers at the funeral for CPT Joshua “Twitch” Lawrence
The SigEp and American flags blew in the wind as the procession began to move out from Smyrna, TN to Goodlettsville, TN for CPT Joshua “Twitch” Lawrences final journey home to his family, friends and brothers.
Cowgirl Grit 